Thursday, January 28, 2010

Life Is beautiful

I have another blog. It is not a sex blog, but just a normal everyday blog. Feel free to check it out. I don't post everyday because I am doing other things, but I will try to post most of my nighly journals if I feel that it is appropriate.

Check it out here!


Saturday, January 23, 2010



Sure thing! Eden Cafe is giving away a free Lelo Mona! FREE! All you gotta do is follow the link and enter to win!

 I sure want one so this is an extra entry for me!!! YAY!

Friday, January 22, 2010

When it rains..

 I woke up a few times in the middle of the night the night before last. I had a couple of bad dreams and couldn't sleep. It was a rough night to say the least. It started raining at some point early yesterday morning. It wasn't an extremely heavy rain, but it was steady enough for me to hear inside. As I laid in my bed awake, listening, I drove myself into deep thought.

--On December 3rd my boyfriend lost the privileges of using his phone and computer. I'm not sure of what happened, but he text my best friends phone to tell me that he wasn't going to have a way to talk to me for about a month because of some school problems(I didn't have a cell phone). I was hurt of course, and I cried enough to fill up the river after a drought, but I knew that we could make it through. I talked to my sister about it, and she told me the same thing I was telling myself.

  'Now only time will tell. If this is real love, we will make it through and possibly come out with a stronger relationship. If its not, then we will fall apart in this next month and nothing will ever come of the last year we have spent convincing ourselves that it's love.'

  Thinking about that made me want to make certain that I kept everything written down so that he would know everything that was going on with me while we weren't able to talk. It made me feel better.

  So I started writing. Every night. Most mornings, and some afternoons. I wrote about everything, and everyone. I wrote stories and sent them, and described to him my sexual urges; All normal things in our relationship. If something happened, I made a mental note to tell him about it in my next email. I did not have internet connection on my laptop at all times, but when I had the chance, I would email all of the letters I had wrote on my computer throughout that previous period of time.

  This was continuous throughout the entire month of December, and the beginning of January. I moved in with my sister, and received the internet connection I felt that I constantly needed. Thsis wasn't a good thing. I stayed logged into my emails, and other applications just hoping to hear something, but I didn't. I received nothing.

I told you that, to tell you this..

 --Today I started the day off by listening to music, and thinking.Thinking what what I would be doing if I had a job, what life would be like if I was five years older, if I got a puppy what I would name it. It started raining a bit harder, and  I began to think about the way my morning would have started if I was able to actually be with my boyfriend. Let me tell you, It was pretty amazing.

  I found myself lost in this erotic fantasy, and I mean lost. I couldn't stop. I was buried in the blankets on my bed, pillows all around me, dildo in one hand, and massager in the other ,pillow between my legs and  muffled vibrations purring through my blankets.. Pleasuring myself to the thought of our bodies tangled up in one another. Skin to skin. Storming outside, cloudy.Touching. Kissing. Sucking. Nibbling. The works. It was completely satisfying. Ahh yes.

  I came out of this magnificent tranquil because my niece knocked at my door saying she wanted my bears..the ones that my bf sent me. She is obsessed with them. I of course don't care if she plays with them during the day (I sleep with them at night), but she has bad timing! Oh it was so good too! Grr. :)

  Well I got up, handed her the bears through a crack in the door, closed it, and by the time I got back in bed I had lost the drive to please myself. Somehow handing my niece a couple of stuffed bears through the door turned me off. I'll never know. :P   It happens I guess.

  Now the two stories tie in..

  I got all of my things put away and I settled back into my bed with my laptop. I then fell sad. I started thinking about how I have yet to talk to him. About how I do miss him all the time, but for the last couple of
weeks I have lost the initiative to email him like I was. I feel like I'm not trying as hard as I was before. I don't know what happened. I just stopped trying so hard. It seemed like I was trying but it wasn't getting me anywhere so now I'm barely trying at all. I feel like I'm not doing what I need to be doing so that our relationship will still be in tact when the time comes, but at the same time, I don't have much to talk about at all. I write articles, and link my blogs to him of course, but I don't write every day/night, and I'm linking the same  blog link because my blog hasn't changed, duh. It's just depressing sometimes.

   I got up and decided that things will get better, so I had an overall good day. I wrote a review (also posted on this blog), started another review and began an article for Eden Cafe, as well as took some time to look at old pics of me and how I have changed. I felt good about myself. Mostly because my sister complimented my weight loss, and I looked at myself naked in the mirror and noticed it myself. I'm pretty conceited sometimes . =P 

Thanks to the dreary rain in the early morning, my day turned out great.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

You're not so sweet!

  As this was my first sex toy, not just from Eden Fantasys, but from anywhere period, and I really didn't know what to look for in a toy, or what to expect from it. Now that I have a couple of other toys, I see how this was a great choice for first timers who have read over a review or two on the product, but not so much for more experienced users looking for a toy to  pleasure them.

   I used a water based lube with it, but a silicone based lube is also safe. It is jelly and absorbs nearly anything into the pores so wash it with warm water and a good toy cleaner. It cannot be completely sanitized so if sharing it, I highly suggest using a condom. This toy has a spiral rib design that covers it entirely, and there is a widened spoon shaped tip that is designed for g-spot stimulation and this causes a little bit more focus on the cleaning of it, but  they are larger ribs so it's not too difficult. When you are finished cleaning it, you should store it in a bag separate from your other toys.
I fell in love with this toy as soon as I got it. It was my first and it was thrilled to have it. I used it nearly every night for two weeks. I was constantly buying AAA batteries because they didn't last but a couple of sessions before they were dead. Boo. I loved the clitoral stimulator,it had pretty powerful vibrations; and then the way I could control which way the slender shaft rotated on the g-spot was a pretty neat idea too. It has three different speeds for the vibration and three for the rotation, which of course would be low, medium and high. The vibrations are nice, but the rotating piece wasn't very strong. The control pad is located on the front, at the base of the product which is nearly perfect for the 'at arms' reach you have.

  I thought I was hot shit with this baby.   I could control everything on this pretty jelly....until it quit and broke about two months after I got it. The rotating shaft quit rotating, although I didn't actually use that function that often but it was kind of disappointing because about the time I was learning my body, it quit. I tried using it, and when I applied the tiniest bit of pressure, it would stop turning, then it just quit trying all together. Beautiful? I think not!

Not long after that, the seam where the bullet for clit stimulation is located, ripped apart like it was nothing. It was a sad time for me as it was my only toy. *tear* I had taken a shower with it, seeing as how it's waterproof, for an attempted orgasm, then about the time I turned it on, and slightly pressed it in and against my clit, rrriiiiiipp. All the way down until there was only the wires and a piece of jelly hanging on. As I figured out, it's not made to thrust, and it isn't sturdy enough to do so either, but how was I to know? I quickly turned off the shower because of the revealing wires and threw it out onto the duck carpet in my niece and nephew's bathroom. Fantastic. This made my day.(complete sarcasm) I simply turned the shower back on, and done what I needed to do the old fashioned way. It was way better.

Onto more details of the $40 toy that wasn't worth the investment for me; the base is long enough for single play, but it can of course be used with a  partner. It's not made for thrusting, and from what I can tell now as an experienced user, it would only need slight movement to pleasure one so it may not be any fun for a partner. I would recommend checking into some other vibrators or something else to your likings. Just my personal opinion.

I would have taken pictures of it to post on here, but I didn't know about this review program or any of the other stuff I could have done so I just threw it away when it broke. My apologies. That was nearly a year ago so there ya have it. I'm done I think. If I missed anything, or if you need to know anything else, just comment and ask. =)

Long Distance Love

  I wrote an article on Eden Cafe about my relationship with my boyfriend and how sometimes it's hard to maintain staying sane with being so far away. I missed a few points I wanted to make, but I was overflowing with a lot of different emotions at the time of writing it so some things went unsaid. 

  Sometimes I think of what it would be like if I tried dating someone else. Someone closer, and someone who I can touch and feel. People tell me all the time it's what I should do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't imagine how I would feel if my boyfriend called me to tell me he didn't want to continue our relationship because he wanted to date someone closer. I would be devastated, and I mean I would turn into a complete train wreck.  So I can't do it to him because I know that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else no matter how physically close to them I am.  I think that I might enjoy being able to touch someone, and cuddle with them in rainy weather like this, but all I would think about is the one guy who has meant so much to me this past year. The one guy who has made me happy without having to be right there with me, without buying me stuff, without having to take me out to dinner. He makes me happy without having to do anything special for me (which he would do if we were together, but I have no problem with not having it) besides being himself. It wouldn't be fair to my boyfriend, the guy I was physically with (if it happened) nor would it be fair to me. I get stressed out enough with having to deal with the craziness that's already in my life and I'm not looking to add to it.    

    When I tell people how I wish it were easier and they typically say, 'Well you are the one that chose to be in this relationship. What did you expect?' or 'You could make it easier on yourself if you weren't in the relationship to start with.'  I just don't want to hear it anymore. I have enough going on without them shooting me down even more than I already am.

    I know, I know, just don't talk about it with them. If I don't want my feelings hurt, or if I don't want to hear it, then don't say anything about it, but I don't always start the conversation. Trust me.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Enter to win!

I want a free toy, I don't know about you!

A Valentines Day Treat!

I'm trying to win a few contests right now and every time a new one comes up, it seems like I just have to enter because I have such a depressing toy collection. I personally own a dildo vibe, and a discreet 'massager'. I have had a couple more, but they either broke, or got ate by a mouse. Yes, a mouse. I also now own a porn, which was terrible to watch, but either way I own it.  But that's all!

I need a new vibe!  I came across this awesome blog that's offering to give one away. I found it because someone said something about it on here. I just hope that I win! It would make my month. =D

Thank YOU!

You simply click the sites, follow on each, and leave a comment. Easy!

*Contest ends Feb. 1st  2010*